The Bad Bunny Trump Alliance: Can Racism and Reggaeton Make Puerto Rico Boom Again?

Creatix Satire / September 22, 2025

The Trump Bunny Alliance: 

Conspiracy theories are total fake and real fun. We ran a silly one "explaining" that Donald J. Trump, Bad Bunny, and Taylor Swift were the same "person" (an alien projection from outer space. Our "evidence included that they have never seen on stage together ever. Rarely there's a concert or rally at the same time. Of course, it was just BS for entertainment. 

Now we bring a more realistic conspiracy theory: a secrete strategic alliance between Trumpworld and Bad Bunnyland to keep Puerto Ricans at home arrest (i.e. in the island, away from the mainland). Why? The island’s economy runs on people buying overpriced stuff and paying for reggaetón concert parking fees like a luxury tax that keeps the island's economy afloat so that bondholders are paid. 

Follow the Money (and the spirits)

Let’s be honest about the main motive for keeping Puerto Ricans in Puerto Rico: money

• Banco Popular (Ticker BPOP) wants customers on the island using its mobile payment app (ATH Movil) for everything from alcapurrias to zapatos. Distributors, landlords, developers, same difference: aisles to stock, leases to sign, towers to fill.

• As the administration moves to Make America White Again (MAWA) keeping Boricuas in Puerto Rico, and convincing those in the mainland to return home, makes political sense. Ensuring that the territory's economy remains viable so that mainland bondholders are paid back may also become a new priority of the administration. 

Nobody cares about forcing these Americans to endure the relatively tough living conditions down there or straining the precious environment of the island. Every time a boricua flushes a toilet, the precious ecosystem suffers. In brain washing Boricuas to stay home or return there, few consider prioritizing crime prevention, public education, infrastructure investment, and the like. The priorities are sales and taxes. If you collect Social Security or other federal benefits, Trump and Bunny would very much like your Walmart run to happen in Bayamón rather than in "Bayamon North" (aka Kissimmee). It’s the same shopping cart full of junk made in China; just more expensive due to the Jones Act, and taxed at a higher tax rate to raise revenue to pay bondholders. 

The priorities are to keep the island's economy afloat and make America more white. These two priorities are perfect for the Trump Bunny Alliance. Although the two men differ in almost every subject, they wholeheartedly agree with convincing Boricuas to stay in the island or to return from the mainland back to the island. On Bunny's side, the more concert tickets and more votes for his future run for Governor of Puerto Rico, the better. On Trump's side, if he could send all Boricuas back to the island by executive order to be blessed by his Supreme Court, he would (or he will). The less Hispanics on the mainland, the better.

The Stats (Spun, but Real)

• Puerto Rico’s on-island population is around 3.3 million—down from the mid-2000s peak near 3.8M. The 2010s were a slide, intensified after Hurricanes Irma/Maria (2017) when net outflow spiked. (Census Data)

• Meanwhile, Stateside Puerto Ricans are now roughly 6 million (2023)—yes, more Boricuas in the 50 states + DC than on the isla. Florida and the Northeast are the twin magnets. (Wikipedia) Recently, the Orlando area has essentially become the 79th municipality of Puerto Rico.

• Post-Maria, researchers projected Florida would get the biggest wave of "bori migrants". Florida did and has officially overtaken New York as the safe haven for Puerto Ricans in the mainland. The largest concentration is in Central Florida (the Disney legacy).  (CentroPR)

• By the way, Puerto Rico is not alone in losing residents to Florida. Since COVID, Florida has been "stealing" residents from the all over the Northeastern states. Soon these chilly states will have to hire Bad Bunny to run concerts trying to convince people to stay in New York.

Grass Roots vs. JetBlue Roots

While airlines run “Welcome Aboard,” the island runs “Quédate en Puerto Rico” (Stay in Puerto Rico) It’s part pep rally talk, part community pride. It's a content mill, all vibes for clips, radio hits, and TikTok videos brainwashing Boricuas to stay in the island or to return to the island. (Facebook)

A newer, very specific drive: “Que regresen mis médicos”—billboards, portal, and a quick survey to lure Puerto Rican physicians back home. There are many viejitos in Puerto Rico in need for medical care. The shortage of medical services impacts the entire population. (Medicina y Salud Pública). Puerto Rico has thrown big fiscal carrots trying to lure physicians back such as the 4% physician income tax decree. 

Enter: The Trump Bunny Alliance™

• Bad Bunny's “No Me Quiero Ir de Aquí” was a loud and colorful 30-show residency (“I don’t want to leave here”) that filled El Choli event venue for months. It was prioritized for locals residents discriminating against outsiders. It was a cultural phenomenon like no other in the history of the Caribbean island. The grand finale was a global livestream on Amazon Music and Amazon Prime. Cultural serotonin + billions of TikTok views + Amazon live show finale = anti-emigration blitz disguised as horny perreo. (AP News)

• Trump's "I don't want them to live here" is implied from his anti-immigration politics and the perceived persecution of Hispanics, raising the hassle bar for Americans from Puerto Rico contemplating a stateside move to the mainland, or contemplating staying here. 

While Bunny makes home feel attractive, Trump makes the mainland feel repulsive. Result: some stay; some even drift back. The alliance works. 

Why the Force Has a Shot

1. Place pride sells. When the hottest artist alive in the world right now throws a residency concert series literally titled “I don’t want to leave,” it plants a huge seed that multiplies virally in the collective PR psyche. It’s not a paycheck or quality of life, but it's cultural gravity. (AP News)

2. Return campaigns. Today is doctors; tomorrow return campaigns and slogans can emerge for teachers, nurses, engineers, and ok fine, also reggaeton DJs. (Medicina y Salud Pública)

3. Florida fatigue is real (in the North). States from Boston to Jersey watch U-Hauls head I-95 South and try micro-campaigns to keep folks local. It’s not just Puerto Rico asking people to stay. The whole Northeast’s been bleeding to Florida too. (Census.gov)

PR Population Timeline. 

• 1493–1500s (Spanish arrival): Columbus lands (1493). Rapid Taíno population collapse from disease/forced labor. Spaniards bring African slaves for forced labor. (Team Social Studies)

• 1600s–1700s (Canarian waves): Isleños (Canary Islanders) settle in organized waves (1695, 1714, 1720, 1731, 1797), founding towns and boosting the rural population. (Wikipedia)

• 1815–1898 (bring Europeans): Royal Decree of Graces (1815) attracts Spaniards and other Europeans (Corsicans, French, Germans, Irish) to immigrate and populate the island. (Wikipedia)

• 1898–1916 (U.S. era begins): After the Spanish-American War, Puerto Rico becomes a U.S. territory; population grows under U.S. rule. (Council on Foreign Relations)

• 1917–1930s (citizenship → first big moves): Jones-Shafroth Act (1917) grants U.S. citizenship to Puerto Ricans; thousands migrate to New York and other states in the 1920s. (Encyclopedia Britannica)

• 1940s–1960s: Great Migration to New York with hundreds of thousands of Puerto Ricans moving to the New York City metropolitan area in the 1950s. (Sky HISTORY TV channel). With Operation Bootstrap, the US contains the outflows and grows PR's economy at the peak levels in its history. Real growth rates averaged roughly ~6% in the 1950s and ~5% in the 1960s as the economy shifted from agriculture to manufacturing and services. This surge reflected industrial policy, U.S. market access, and heavy investment

• 1970s–1990s (Section 936 era): Section 936 (enacted 1976) granted U.S. firms a lucrative tax credit, drawing pharma/electronics manufacturing to Puerto Rico. The 936 boom expanded manufacturing, raised payrolls, and eased net out-migration and continued on-island population growth toward late-century highs. Economic benefits were uneven, but the era broadly supported jobs and retention.

• 2000s - 2010s → The end of federal Section 936 tax breaks (final phase-out in 2006) coincided with free trade globalization and hollowed out manufacturing in Puerto Rico. A May 2006 budget crisis triggered a two-week government shutdown and credit downgrade. The Great Recession in the mainland (2007–2009) compounded Puerto Rico's economic slump. Net moves to the mainland surged (~40–50k/yr in the late 2000s) with lack of jobs the main reason. Unemployment neared 15% by 2014. Total population fell ~10%. (Council on Foreign Relations). Hurricane Maria in 2017 turbocharged departures. Record net loss was recorded in 2018. Florida received the largest influx of Puerto Ricans fleeing the post-Maria Puerto Rico. (Pew Research Center)

• Early 2020s: COVID pandemic slowed moves briefly. Some stabilization seen with hints while long-run diaspora remaining large. (Pew Research Center) About 3.2–3.3M live on the island; and roughly 5.8–5.9M Puerto Ricans live in the mainland. Florida headcount: ~1.30 million Puerto Ricans in Florida (ACS 2024 1-year), up from ~1.24 million in 2022—making Florida the #1 state; (Census Data)

TL;DR map: ~3.2–3.3M on-island vs. ~5.8–5.9M stateside—a centuries-long story of peopling, with big 20th-century growth and a 21st-century diaspora shaped by recession and storms. (Census Data)

Trump Tariffs, “Made in USA,” and a Puerto Rico Manufacturing Reboot

Tariff shield: Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory inside the U.S. customs territory, so goods manufactured in PR are domestic for U.S. tariff purposes. If tariffs rise on imports from abroad, PR-made goods aren’t hit when sold in the states.

“Made in USA” angle: Products that meet the FTC’s “all or virtually all” domestic content standard can carry Made in USA—PR qualifies as domestic. (Imported inputs can still face tariffs when they enter PR, but the finished PR product isn’t tariffed again when shipped to the mainland.)

Cost calculus: Potential wins: lower wages than many stateside metro areas; local incentives; no outbound U.S. tariff; time-zone & IP protection. Watch-outs: electricity costs/reliability, Jones Act shipping constraints, specialized skills pipelines, and permitting speed.

Who benefits first: light-to-midweight manufacturing (consumer goods, medical devices/pharma fill-finish, packaging, electronics assembly) where tariff avoidance + labor arbitrage can offset logistics/energy.

Bottom line: If U.S. tariffs rise broadly, PR can market itself as “lower-cost, U.S.-made, tariff-free to the mainland.” That won’t resurrect 1990s pharma overnight, but it’s a credible wedge for a new wave of plants, especially if paired with grid fixes, workforce pipelines, and faster permits.

Our Editorial Stance

This is satire, but the stakes aren’t: Americans from Puerto Rico are free to decide where to build their lives. Culture can tip that decision a little. However, wages, public services, public safety, education, and quality of life can tip it a lot more. It's easy for the rich and the special interests to push their brainwashing agendas for money. Of course, the push is not for the love of Puerto Rico because if that were the case, preserving a pristine environment would trump forcing artificial population growth via cultural indoctrination or mental incarceration. If the Trump Bunny Alliance wants to be more than a meme, it needs a companion act: better schools, safer streets, faster permits, denser housing, and fewer brownouts. Keep the fun and fix the fundamentals.

Until then, the Trump Bunny alien projector keeps humming over San Juan, splitting into two avatars: one shouting “no me quiero ir de aquí” (I don't want to leave here)  and the other projecting in sign language "I don't want them living here" (no los quiero aquí"). One way or another, they will brainwash some to stay and some to return. The vast majority, however, will do what is more convenient for them. We're bullish on Florida. And watchout Northeast and New England, the South and especially Florida will keep getting more and more of your residents in the years to come. People prefer the warm chill to the cold one. Maybe you'll need to hire the Trump Bunny Alliance to do some marketing or cultural brainwashing trying to convince folks to stay put and cold up north.

Now you know it.